Bright & Quirky Child Summit 2021: Tame The Overwhelm was a 5-day free online summit which aimed to help twice exceptional (2e) children - gifted children with ADHD, autism, learning differences like dyslexia, anxiety and/or depression. The conference featured 28 educators and psychologists who shared science-informed actionable strategies that promote social, emotional, and academic thriving even in tough times. The summit was hosted by Debbie Steinberg Kuntz, a licensed marriage and family therapist as well as the Founder of Bright & Quirky. Day 3 focused on thriving and learning.
My Bright & Quirky Journey from the Principal's Office to Worldwide Stages: Talk for Kids & Teens! - Jonathan Mooney
Jonathan Mooney is a dyslexic writer, activist, and widely sought after speaker whose work has been featured in The New York Times, The Los Angeles Times, The Chicago Tribune, USA Today, HBO, NPR, ABC News, New York Magazine, The Washington Post, and The Boston Globe. His latest book is 'Normal Sucks: How to Live, Learn, and Thrive, Outside the Lines'.
Jonathan had a hard time in school because he faced difficulties reading as well as sitting in a still and quiet manner. The embarrassment and humiliation drove him to often play truant. He was negatively labelled as being stupid, lazy, crazy, and bad. In third grade, he was clinically diagnosed with language-based learning differences such as dyslexia and dysgraphia. In fifth grade, he was diagnosed with behavioural and attentional challenges such as ADHD. In sixth grade, he dropped out of school for a year, and struggled with mental health challenges such as anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation. After he left public school, he tried out alternative schools and special education specific programmes, then eventually stopped school for some time. People expected that he would be a high school dropout, unemployed, and even imprisoned.
In fact, Jonathan became a college graduate from an Ivy League University called Brown University with an honours degree in English literature, an author of three books including one he wrote as an undergraduate, as well as an advocate for individuals who learn outside the box. Upon reflecting on his journey of rebuilding his sense of self, he noted some things that he wishes he could have told his younger self or other bright and quirky children.
Firstly, contrary to popular belief, people with diagnoses are not the problem. The real problem that needs to be critiqued and addressed is the narrow cultural and institutional definition of the so-called normal or average person, such that anyone one deviates from that myth of normality is shamed or left behind. It is freeing and healing to understand that society is wrong about people with differences. What people call deficiencies are actually differences, and we need people who are different for the world to improve. For example, it is counterproductive to yell at children with ADHD to stop fidgeting, and it is wrong to shame them for not being able to sit still at the school desk. What they need to do is find a way to move in a way that is respectful to the group but allows their brains to pay attention and learn. Dr. John Ratey, Associate Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, wrote a book called ‘Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain’, discussing how moving facilitates focusing and wellbeing. Similarly, the book 'A Philosophy of Walking' by Frédéric Gros looks at how philosophers such as Socrates used the movement of walking while philosophising.
Secondly, people with differences need to challenge the idea that there is something wrong with them that needs to be fixed, and instead learn to advocate for themselves. The rights for people with differences are enumerated in public policies around the world, including the Americans with Disabilities Act and the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. Apart from advocating for the rights to have accommodations in education and employment as well as have access to the services one needs, it is also important to advocate for the rights to live a happy, fulfilled, and connected life. Initially, Jonathan felt ashamed and sad about his differences. Later on, he became angry as he realised that he did not deserve to be treated poorly due to their differences. This anger became fuel for him to become productive by speaking out on behalf of himself and others like him in order to right a wrong. The journey was facilitated by the people in his life who listened to and supported him, such as his mother who was often in his principal or teacher’s office, fighting for his rights to be different. Through the process, he also developed confidence and found healing, no longer allowing his past hard experiences to control and define him.
Thirdly, people with differences should focus on celebrating their strengths, rather than remediating their so-called deficits or limitations. While there are indeed weaknesses and challenges, there are also valuable strengths that exist alongside these differences. Each and every one can have a bright future, not despite their differences but because of their differences. The task is to identify and build on their interests and talents. For example, Jonathan’s teacher in third grade, Mr. R., always asked his students to think about what they are good at. Jonathan thought he was not good at anything, since all he ever heard was that he was bad at spelling and reading. However, Mr. R. did not give up on finding the good in him, and told him to ‘screw spelling’ because he was so good at telling stories that he could become a writer. That was the first time somebody told Jonathan to forget what he could not do and focus on what he could do. Likewise, Jonathan's AP English teacher in high school, Mr. Starkey, saw potential in him and allowed him to take the class even though he technically did not meet the requirements based on grades. Mr. Starkey observed that Jonathan’s essay was misspelled but nonetheless contained exceptional ideas. That was a profound moment in his life, because it showed him that there was more to writing than spelling and grammar. What actually matters in writing is about finding what one has to say in an authentic and passionate way. Technologically, we are in a time in which traditional reading and writing are no longer gatekeeper skills necessary to be successful. With text-to-speech and speech-to-text tools, we can listen to audiobooks as opposed to read print books, and talk or dictate as opposed to handwrite. Although these are equally valid modes of communication, they are often placed in a false dichotomy or hierarchy. Bright and quirky children struggle in school not so much due to their diagnoses such as dyslexia, but due to the lack of accommodations. Jonathan stopped feeling shame in using the tools at his disposal, and went on to become an author of three books.
Lastly, one of the fundamental existential human dilemmas is the desire for human sameness despite the reality of human differences. In particular, bright and quirky individuals may find it hard to strike a balance between wanting to fit in and avoid being ostracised, while simultaneously wanting to stand out and be themselves. There are real risks that come with revealing one’s differences, as there are people who have bigotry against learning, attentional, and mental health differences. Therefore, bright and quirky individuals may be tempted to hide our differences for fear of rejection. Nonetheless, we can find safe spaces where we can incrementally share our inner selves with others who accept us and celebrate our differences. For example, although Jonathan was nervous about disclosing to his female college friend about his diagnoses, she embraced his differences and went on to become his wife. Furthermore, bright and quirky individuals can find a community of other people with differences where we feel our true selves are seen and recognised, in order to seek opportunities for growth, healing, and connection. For example, at Brown University, Jonathan and David Cole created Project Eye-To-Eye, a programme in which Brown University students with learning and attentional differences mentored children with similar differences. Both the Brown University students and the young people realised that they no longer had to feel alone.
All blogposts on Bright & Quirky Child Summit 2021:
Day 1 Talk 4 A Quick, Shareable Overview of Twice Exceptional (2e) Kids - Dan Peters, PhD
Day 2 Talk 8 Understanding High IQ Kids With ADHD and Co-Occurring Diagnoses - Thomas E. Brown, PhD
Day 3 Talk 13 How to Know When It's Time to Change Schools or Homeschool - Colleen Kessler, MEd
Day 4 Talk 17 How to Help Bright Kids Avoid Autistic Burnout - Kieran Rose
Day 4 Talk 19 How Different Kinds of Minds Can Become Inventors and Engineers - Temple Grandin, PhD
Watch this space for more blogposts from the Bright & Quirky Child Summit 2021!
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